Disclaimer: characters in dialogue are no representations of any Singaporeans. any similarities found are pure 100% coincidental.

Part 1

At the back of the Istana's guard house, 11 pm, temperature of 23 degrees centigrade, slight breeze, with the smell of Mt Faber Nasi Lemak wafting through the air.

Prata Man: Evening Boss, nice night for a good drag of "Beedi". Heaven man, Heavan!

Old Man: Spare me one bro. Bad fucking day. Starhub signal keeps dropping out. I just don't know why we pay them good money for.

Prata Man: You mean, you actually pay cable bill? Serious!

Old Man: Aiyah, just figure of speech lah.

Prata Man: Tell your daughter-in-law, its her company what.

Old Man: I already fed up with my son and now his wife. Where does it stop?

Prata Man: I knew it. Just can't have a good drag under the stars, with nice Teh Gayong without you coming out with state problems again. Whats now?

Old Man: Well, he fucked up the succession plan, didn't he? Fucking 49 years the PAP has been in power and for the first time he tells the country that they are in trouble in finding a leader. I should not have listened to Choo and left him by himself.

Prata Man: I don't get it. You guys spend half your time looking for top talents with so many people involved. I can't see how we can slip up. Are his standards high?

Old Man: Bro, its not the standards. Its the other traditional pre-requisites. At first we thought it was the usual reluctance to be involved in politics. Its not the pay either, as we fixed that up. Its something we never expected.

Prata Man: What Boss? They are gay?

Old Man: Bro, you are really behind time. Gays are perfectly acceptable just don't tell the Ah Pek generation. Its their families.

Prata Man: What about their families?

Old Man: Every potential candidate has a son or a daughter that has migrated, working overseas and unlikely to return or in some cases kids and the mum are permanently based overseas while the guy is working here. They are leaving Singapore. And leaving for good!

Prata Man: Holy shit! Jesus, when did this all happened?

Old Man: Last 5 years. People are leaving by the droves.

Prata Man: But we made sure we look after the Elites by designating good class bungalows, high salaries, etc

Old Man: Its not them, its their kids. Its something I suspected for sometime during our annual cabinet family members gathering at Sri Temasek Poolside. I see less of the kids. As is customary, its a must for all family members to attend. They give me bullshit excuses like the kid has toothache, sprained ankle, music exam practice, etc. I suspect that they are overseas.

Prata Man: No wonder Loong talked about those kids going overseas. Boss, you want me to activate my old intelligence contacts to look for them.

Old Man: Don't be fucking stupid. We can't even find Mas Selmat. Even more embarrassing is the Ahmad Mattar affair which the whole world knew. You want to do what?

Prata Man: Maybe the search was not thorough.

Old Man: Believe me we were thorough. I even called up Chee, Low and Chiam and asked them about their recruitment drives since we are in the same business. They too have the same problem. Chee told me the young people are not interested in Singapore politics. They are more interested in social activism like human rights, fighting for the poor, 3rd world. He told me those that can afford it, pay to join Greenpeace ship to fight whalers or attend G7 demonstration, etc. Some even go Hong Kong to attend demonstrations. Those who can't afford gather outside the Parliament House and purposely get themselves arrested in order to enjoy free food and lodging in our world class prisons.

Prata Man: What did Low tell you? He managed to get some Chiobus for the last General Elections. I am sure there will be more.

Old Man: Alamak, Low got even bigger problems! Its seem they never heard of WP. They thought that after Francis and Tang left, the party closed down. He even said that Hougang residents thought their town council was run by Chiam as he is always talking about town council matters.

Prata Man: Chalat!. Like that how?

Old Man: Bro, there is something that came to me as I was walking here. Please keep it to yourself for the moment. I am seriously thinking about migrating to Perth. What do you think?

Prata Man: (Cough, Cough, Cough ... almost choked) What!.

Old Man: Its not like the Singapore we know. There are just too many foreigners. This place is getting too crowded. I fought with Cabinet and told them that 5 million is the limit. They insisted on 7 million. Now I find out these arseholes have no problem because their kids are emigrating and they will end up leaving the country eventually. Now you should know why those arseholes kept pestering you and me to endorse their salary raise and we had to bullshit in Parliament in order to defend their indefensible craps for justifications.

Prata Man: Boss, I am absolutely devastated. First, I sucked up to the British. Then, I sucked up to the Japanese. Then I'd to suck up to you. Now you want me to suck up to an Aussie? When will this stop?

Old Man: Come, lets go down to Prince Philip Avenue and talk about how to apply for emigration while we wallop Mt Faber Nasi Lemak. The smell from the guardhouse is getting to me.

Prata Man: You got money first or not? This time I am not paying until you pay me back $14 for the Ikan bakar and kambing soup at Bedok Corner last week.

Old Man: Don't worry bro, this time I brought my wallet. I thought it will be a long night. After Supper, we walked down Tanglin Road, reach Australian Embassy and talk cock until morning opening. I heard application form is $12. Then pop over to Glen Eagles, do medical checkup for emigration, late brunch, then head home.

Prata Man: You are the Man!

Part 2

Behind the Istana guardhouse, 10.30 pm, temperature 24 degrees Celsius, strong winds buffeting the palm fronds and a few crickets were chirping.

Old Man : Bro, heard from your Mrs that you going on holiday by yourself.

Prata Man: Oh, oh ..... yeah, just trying to fight my inner demons by doing something decent so as to sleep at night.

Old Man: You are not heading to Oz without telling me, are you?

Prata Man: You probably won't believe this but I have decided to do something before its too late. I am trying to stop the Olympic Torch relay. I did nothing in Singapore when you ruled Singapore with an iron fist. I did nothing when you covered Burma from the 1st world when the Burmese needed us to throw their tyrants out. This is my last opportunity to be part of history.

Old Man: Bro, you are becoming mellow with age. Don't you get it, some of us are more equal than others. It's in the nature of things. It can't be helped.

Prata Man: Here, take a Beedi. You will need it as I have decided to have a rational argument with you, even if it kills me.

Old Man: Don't go soft on me, bro. We have had a long history from the days of the Japanese Occupation.

Prata Man: Listen! And listen good, Old Man. Its time that someone tell you that you are missing your clothes. You fucking stupid or what? That JI guy escaped and how the hell is it that it is the fault of Singaporeans. Patrick Daniel needs to be given 12 strokes of the cane for carrying that rubbish.

Old Man: Whoa, Bro, take it easy .....

Prata Man: Don't fucking stop me. I am speaking here. Lets face it. That son of yours can't carry the can. You either cut him loose or the whole family gets buried together with your legacy. I've got to say that guy goes missing every time there is an issue.

Old Man: Ok, ok, I am listening. Lets get it out and thrash this tonite.

Prata Man: Am I to believe that there is no one who can lead the nation? What exactly is your son well known for? What are his achievements? What bridge did he build? What mark did he leave behind? If I draw a line in the sand now, his claim to fame would be zilch, except for his link to you and returning a small portion of taxpayers' money back to the taxpayers. Thats about it. And you are telling me that there is no one who can lead? Singaporeans hear you speak up more than him. How to be a real leader like that?

Old Man: Ok, we have issues. We can't just let this come out in the open. Its about confidence in the Government. Have you forgotten that the Stock Market dived when Loong's cancer was announced?

Prata Man: Guess what? It might just shoot up, if you dropped him now!

Old Man: Look bro, I know you are mad. But ... but we got to be rational about this. We need good man and we need them now!

Prata Man: Well, who screwed it up big time in the first place? Your sledgehammer approach to opposition politics has killed political awareness. Your approach to limiting leaders to perfect As scholars has ruled a whole swathe of society with a tiny eligible pool to fish from. Now that pool has been hit by a drought with water levels standing at 3/4 full, due to brain drain. The remaining talent will of course be of a lower quality than the ones who emigrated. Maybe you want to call Patrick Daniel again and tell him that Singaporeans are to blame for this as well?

Old Man: What do you suggest I do?

Prata Man: For a start, build a gas chamber and put all those in the States Times in it. Give your son 90 days to pull up his socks, failing which he is out. How do you think the private sector works? We gave them private sector pay, why can't we fire them like private sector does?

Old Man: Hello, smartly over-sized pants! Then who is going to take over?

Prata Man: You gave speeches saying how Kim San had an eye for leaders. How the whole process of selection works for so many years. The Pyramid Club and what nots. Well, aren't the guys who are in the current Cabinet from that exact same process? Kim San did not do the last Elections but none of them in that cohort are in the Cabinet at the moment. So what went wrong?

Old Man: Look bro, they may have been great prospects but the fire sort of died down for some.

Prata Man: Of course, the fire will die down. There is nothing to look forward to. Their salaries are the highest in the world. There is no incentives left for them to work harder. You are still pulling the ropes, so the non-financial rewards will not go their way.

Old Man: Hey, bro, where do you get all these ideas from? Its not like you, man.

Prata Man: Just go to Sammyboy. It's all there. One of them suggested a complete overhaul for opposition parties and I think the same should apply here. You got nothing to lose.

Old Man: I thought so too. Hey, is it true that QXP is Bin? On the day it came out, Choo cycled all the way to NLB to confront him. In her wheelchair of course.

Prata Man: Don't anyhow say unless you have irrefutable proof. That Scroobal fellow is a fraud, a conman and good for nothing degenerate prostitute of the highest order. Don't ever listen to him.

Old Man: Bro, I am careful of Sammyboy. They are worst than me. They ban you without telling anything. At least I am man in enough to bankrupt people in court personally. Anyway I stopped pasting photos at Sammyboy because of the current oppressive culture.

Prata Man: You are not post-news, are you? He's missing for a while. And didn't your YPAP Forum doing the same thing - suka suka ban people without warning?

Old Man: No comments.

Prata Man: What kind of political tactic is that? Bankrupting political opponents? Might as well stuff the ballot boxes. Never seen anything like this anywhere in the world. Go to The Online Citizen and read for yourself what a stir you have caused throughout the cyberspace.

Old Man: Ok, Ok. I will talk to my son. Don't have too high hopes. There are 2 women behind the scene who can crush our balls hard and proper.

Prata Man: Ahhh! That reminds me, why got no woman in the Cabinet.

Old man: Oh fuck, bro ... give me a break man. All I wanted was a bit of peace tonight, a Beedi and a stiff teh tarik.

Prata Man: I am tired too. It's like talking to a water buffalo.

Old Man: Bro, there is still time. We can catch the last No. 14 outside Plaza Singapura and go to Lorong 29 for the Hokkein Mee.

Prata Man: Old man, No 14, goes to Katong, my home town, not to Geylang.

Old Man: Eh, blur sotong, the reason why I run the country and you are only a ceremonial head is because I know where everything is. The terror who ran the Lorong 29 Hokkein Mee stall has gone to heaven and his business has been divided between his 2 sons. The drier version is now at East Coast Road, near tje Telok Kurau junction. Caprice or something? Some more no need to eat with the chillies.

Prata Man: Ok, if we go Dutch I'll go with you. I need a stiff drink after venting my spleen also.

Old Man: After the meal, we can walk to the Old Joo Chiat Police Station. There is a couple of pubs there and I heard it's happening.

Prata Man: Boss, you're into Pinoy?

Old Man: Baduah, I am talking about Old Joo Chiat Police Station. Remember, we went to wallop Samy's masala chicken with our mate Othman some time ago? The Pinoys are at Paramount lah.

Prata Man: Boss, no harm chatting with Pinoys mah. Just buy them drinks and maybe they can solve some of your problems? They are also Foreign Talents, you know?

Old Man: Hey, bro, I think your wife was right. She told Choo that during weekends at your Ceylon Road home, you claim to go for long walks after midnight. She thinks you're doing the Viet chicks instead.

Prata Man: No comments. Lets go before we miss the bus.

Part 3

Behind the Istana Guardhouse at 11.30 pm, temperature 22 degrees Celsius; very windy; sound of palm fronds rustling. Strong smell of "teh tarek" in the air and the unmistakable smell of pre-war Indian labourers' beedi cigarettes.

Old Man: Bro, heard you from miles away. Heard you singing near Hole 5. Why so happy?

Prata Man: Don't you know?

Old Man: Know what?

Prata Man: The Reserves! They are going to touch the reserves.....

Old man: And then .....?????

Prata Man: Finally I am needed! Don't you get it? Its the only fucking thing that the Office of President has that is of value. I am sick and tired of cutting ribbons, shaking hands, looking at pictures on the wall, going to events that makes boredom look trifle easy. Jesus!!! It's a miracle, Boss! It's a real miracle!

Old Man: Its no big deal, Bro. Don't have your hopes high. Its just signature, you know. Did you look at today's business Times? Even our resident prostitutes in SPH, who are paid to make us look good, had the "Lack of Women Board Directors" as the headline on page 1 while the "Touching of Reserves" was mentioned in page 4.

Prata Man: Ah Hah!. You are making assumptions. A terrible assumption!

Old Man: You mean the prostitutes in SPH? Bro, I made them! Which low life would write slanted work for money and still pretend to be professionals? In fact, they are worst. Prostitutes at least have the real stuff to sell!

Prata Man: Aiyah, not the SPH lah. You don't have to convince me. Remember, I used to be the Chairman of SPH? And what a brothel it was! Even the guys were sluts. Every one of them!

Old Man: Then what? What assumption?

Prata Man: You are assuming that I will sign.

Old Man: What the fuck, Bro!. Are you crazy?

Prata Man: This is my show! My time! And no one shall steal the thunder.

Old Man: What are you talking about!?

Prata Man: Boss, you have no idea what a joke this Presidency has become. People are laughing at me and The Office. How can there be no suitable candidate for This Office? Why are good people walking away from this office?

Old Man: Are you sure? We are just being very strict with criteria.

Prata Man: Just go to Sammyboy. They are calling me Prata Man, Lazy Pig and god knows what! Even my wife thinks that The Office is a joke. Do you know the number of times I got whacked by her with a ladle upon my head because of This Office?

Old Man: This is not the time to grow a brain. Don't you know we built an escape clause after what Teng Cheong did to us?

Prata Man: Yes, but the public will know that I refused to sign.

Old Man: YOoi! You are not thinking rationally. The funds are needed to tide the country and the people over. This is not the time to think of yourself! Singaporeans will not forgive you!

Prata Man: Pleeez, pleez, plez! You are talking about Singaporeans? The moment someone turns against the govt, Singaporeans suddenly become Heroes? Look at Ong Teng Cheong, look at Tan Kin Lian. You are talking about a bunch of sheep! You can screw a Singaporean for 40 years but the moment someone goes against the "Great Man", he becomes a Hero?

Old Man: Do the right thing for your country and you will be remembered .....

Prata Man: Don't give me that righteous bullshit! Just because I am overweight, wear my belt high does not mean that I am a Tweedledee. I am smarter than you think!

Old Man: Pass me your beedi, I need a puff. (After pulling hard on the beedi) I am lost ..... completely out at sea. What the fuck are you talking about?

Prata Man: I will sign only if certain conditions are met.

Old Man: Name it.

Prata Man: I want an independent Inquiry into Temasek's investment and whether it has contributed to the HOLE in the Budget. I want the curtains to the shenanigans drawn out.

Old Man: Done.

Prata Man: Wait a minute. Not the Wong Kan Seng's version of independent inquiry over Mas Selamat where his subordinate sat in on the inquiry.

Old Man: Hang on a minute! You just cast aspersions on my daughter in law and now my cousin's husband. This is getting personal.

Prata Man: Boss, whats with you anyway? Why can't your family get a job like everyone else? Every mother fucker in your family wants to put his nose in the trough? Your family is no difference from the Indians in the tea estate where every family member has job in the estate.

Old Man: You are pushing your luck too far, Bro.!

Prata Man: Look, Boss! I have nothing to lose. I have got all the money in the world ... thanks to the salary hikes. So what? I can't use it for fuckall. I can't go massage .... I can't go and cheong ... I can't surf porn sites ... and even in Sammyboy, I can't reply to the bastards who called me names.

Old Man: What do you mean? You can't surf porn sites?

Prata Man: It will appear on the bank statement what!. They know I am the President and my staff will know.

Old Man: What a cock! You should have asked me. When you are traveling overseas, pop down to the convenience store and buy a couple of Visa prepaid credit cards.

Prata Man: Wah piang! Now then you tell me!

Old Man: Why you think I have not been joining you here for so many nights?

Prata Man: OK, here is the deal. Pass me some of your prepaid cards and you get my signature. Of course, there has to be a bit of drama where I will make some queries on the proposal paper, some verifications of certain accounts, and so on.

Old Man: Don't worry, I will make you look good in front of the press and the people.

Prata Man: No, not for the people. The people know exactly what the Presidency is all about. It's for my wife! I can't handle her abuse with the ladle anymore.

Old Man: OK, now that the affairs of the State has been dealt with, can we pop over to Botak Jones for supper.

Prata Man: You mean the one at Somerset / Orchard Turn junction.

Old Man: Yes. You spring for the cab ride.

Prata Man: Jesus! You are fucking out of touch.

Old Man: What do you mean?

Prata Man: They just firebombed Seng Han Tong. If they spot you, they will BBQ you! Even SIA won't be able to help you this time. Two cabbies, both in their 70s. Can it really be just a coincidence? You are no fools .....

Old Man: Maybe we skip supper and hit the porn sites. Just bought a 32 inch LCD for it.

Prata Man: No lah, Botak Jones is worth going for. Lets put on the wigs and skateboard over there. Might even pickup a PRC Mei Mei or two. I heard our Immigration will let in even old grandmas if mature MILF is your thing. You have your purse with you?

Old Man: Yes, I have ... I will pay for the supper this time.

allegations towards the stories shall not be accounted by c207.blogspot.com.

JANUARY
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds.
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH
Attractive personality.sexy. Affectionate.Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others.
Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional.
Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong
clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be
quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make
friends .

SEPTEMBER
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.
Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of
what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises.
High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable

DECEMBER
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing
personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical